Discussing death is never easy, especially with those closest to you. Yet planning ahead can relieve immense pressure when the time eventually comes. Initiating a conversation about your funeral wishes might feel uncomfortable at first, but it can also be a profound act of care.
At Olsens Funerals, we often meet families who are overwhelmed not just by grief, but by uncertainty—unsure of what their loved one would have wanted. Starting the conversation early can help avoid confusion and ensure your values and preferences are honoured.
When a death occurs, families are often left with dozens of urgent decisions. Burial or cremation? Religious or civil service? What music should play? Where should the ashes go? These decisions can cause stress, disagreements, and sometimes even regret.
Planning ahead means you retain control of your farewell, while offering your family a sense of direction and comfort. It also allows time to compare options and avoid rushed or expensive decisions.
There’s no one perfect time—but try to bring it up during a calm moment, not in a time of crisis. It might be prompted by attending another funeral, making a new will, or after a birthday or milestone.
You could say something like,
“I’ve been thinking about how I’d like things to be handled when the time comes. I’d feel better knowing you’re informed, and I hope it brings you some peace too.”
Be honest and kind. Share your motivations—most likely, you want to make things easier for your family. Encourage them to ask questions and express their views.
Start simple. Would you prefer cremation or burial? Would you like a formal service, or something more personal and private? Do you want specific music, readings, or donations to a cause close to your heart?
Once you’ve had the conversation, it’s important to document your preferences. You don’t need to make everything formal right away, but noting your wishes in writing ensures your family has something to refer to later.
Olsens Funerals provides a free Funeral Pre-Planning Guide to help families consider every aspect. We also offer confidential pre-arrangement services so your plans can be stored safely until needed.
If starting the conversation feels too difficult, we can help. Our experienced team can facilitate discussions with families, answer questions, and provide gentle guidance.
It’s not morbid. It’s a conversation about love, responsibility, and legacy.
